Monday, February 02, 2009

Valentine's Day is looming

What is the deal with Valentine's Day?

When you are a child, it's all about the candy and 'Valentine's' cards which are shared with every student, not just the girls. As you get older, the day takes on an entirely different persona.

Having never had a Valentine on Valentine's Day, I can honestly give an outside opinion. The whole 'holiday' (and I use that term loosely considering there isn't anything 'Holy' about it these days) seems to have taken the same commercial route that all the other holidays have taken. You have to buy flowers which are exponentially priced compared to 'off season', special candy that is put out just for the occasion, a card full of glitter and gushy words that someone else thinks might reflect your love and devotion, a 'real' gift like jewelry or a weekend away, an expensive dinner out, some kind of activity such as dancing or a show, not to mention a new outfit or two of them, if you are married. If you're *really, really* in love, you could spend a couple thousand dollars on this day!

If you are not in a serious relationship, you can be left to feel loveless or worthless or hideous if you don't have 'that special someone' who will shower you in this way. That is ridiculous! I know personally, I felt this way for many years before I realized that I didn't need a man to shower me with superficial things that I can buy for myself. It can really drive a person to feel bitter and sad and depressed! As if having a man in your life will make all those feelings go away. Well, it's simply not true.

And since when is it all the man's responsibility to go overboard trying to set up this forced environment of love? I don't really understand why the burden of this day always falls so heavily on the man...and women buy into it as well, as if they are entitled! I've seen women basically assume they will get X, Y and Z or their man is 'in trouble'. What??? Ugh...don't get me started you pampas arrogant princesses! Of course it's nice to be appreciated, but how dare you go there? You don't think your man shows you his love and devotion every day when he gets up and goes to work when he'd rather do something for himself like go fishing or sleep in just once? And that's just one way men show their commitments. I think the women today take WAAAAAAY too much for granted. They threaten to leave when things don't go their way and there is nothing sadder and weaker than using fear to gain control over your mate. Do you really want him if he's acting on fear or with his wallet? What ever happened to your vows? For better or for worse or for until I can no longer get whatever I want and need? Wake up women who act this way! Stop taking it for granted and focusing on the bad things in your mate. Why not look for the good that's there and find out what he needs for a change? Better yet, invite God back into the equation. Remember, you made your vows to Him!

Now there's nothing wrong with doing something nice for each other. Flowers are great! Cards are wonderful and so are notes left on the steering wheel just letting them know you are thinking of them that day. And who wouldn't enjoy a small gift of candy every now and then? Every couple has an anniversary, a date set aside in their lives for them to reflect on the past, evaluate the present and dream of the future! So why do we need an anniversary and some other day as well, that everyone celebrates? Do we really need to be reminded to be loving to each other? Is it really that special if everyone is doing it? Hmmm......

Down with conformity!!!

Well, as usual, I'm pretty sure I am alone in my convictions. So if you'd like a chance to win a $70 gift card for, go over and leave a comment on my friend Patrick's blog on his contest post called 'You Got Me What!' It's only open for a week so hurry in for your chance! There's nothing to sign up for, just leave a comment and you are entered. Anyone can play along.


Tina Kubala said...

I'm with you. Even now, happily married for 7 years, I think it is ridicules to put so much value on one day's romance. And don't get me started on the materialism. Seriously, my husband takes care of me when I'm sick, doing things only my mother ever did for me (I'll save you the details). I don't need hundreds of dollars worth of junk to tell me he loves me.

BeccaGirl said...

@Anonymous: I don't allow anonymous, unsigned comments. If you've been here before, you *should* already know that.

In reply to your (now deleted) comment though, it doesn't take the experience of a relationship to learn that the Valentine 'holiday' is over commercialized. It also doesn't take being in a relationship to see how other people in relationships take each other for granted and encourage them to find ways of being more loving...everyday. I don't see how being in a relationship magically gives you insight that it's all of a sudden a great holiday. I don't have children yet, does that mean I couldn't possibly understand or have an opinion when a mom is neglecting her kids? Don't put me down because you assume I'm bitter because I don't share your beliefs on the subject. I am not put off at all by not having had a Valentine, it is simply a fact. Every married person I know complains incessantly about it to me, I'd say that gives me alot of proof that there is room for improvement. Everyone has house, job and family issues to deal with, married or not. Everyone forgets to take time for themselves and the ones they love. I think it's pathetic of both partners if they don't make the effort and need a special day on the calender to overspend and follow protocol in order to be reminded. It's cheaper to make random other days special than to have to be reminded of this one in particular.

I have felt bitterness in the past, but now that I've put my life in the Lord's hands, I have nothing to be bitter about. There are women who have had their hearts broken by boyfriends and husbands and I have been spared that. I've been sheltered from the heartache and disappointments of broken hearts. I trust now, that God has a plan for my life and He will choose the best person for me when I am ready and when it is right and only then will I get to experience the true meaning of love and devotion. And I won't have to worry about broken hearts anymore because it will be built in God and nothing could break that down. I have nothing but to look up and be excited, so please don't presume to judge my heart, God is doing that and He doesn't need help from you.

Besides, this is my blog and my opinions. I may have talked about this before , who knows I may talk about it again! If I do, I will try to focus more on offering helpful suggestions to making everyday special instead of the harsh sounding post I've done here. But if you take offense, perhaps it's because deep down, you know it's true, even a little. Shame on us all for taking each other for granted, even if we all understand that's so easy to do. I encourage everyone not to wait until Valentine's day to show your love for each other, lovers or friends or family alike.