Pirates gone wild!

When I was a kid, I learned that pirates were 'the bad guys'. They would overtake the control of boats and ships to rob people of jewelry and cash with only one eye yelling 'Arrrrrgghhh!' Sometimes the vessels themselves were the object of the pirates desires. They were known to be very violent and brazen, empowered with a strong sense of lawlessness.

Over the past few years, I've noticed an increase in the number of otherwise 'regular' people who fancy taking on the persona of pirates as their chosen lifestyle. Even going as far as speaking like them and dressing and raising their kids with the same lawless attitudes. Perhaps pirates have been glamorized by Hollywood and Halloween a bit too much. Keep in mind, these are the kind of 'pirates' that never rob anyone nor do they desire to plunder anyone's goods. They live in suburbia for goodness sakes!

Real pirates of today have taken piracy to a whole new level. They aren't interested in a few heart pendant necklaces or bigger boats for their fleets. No, these guys set out in tiny boats with big guns and overtake ginormous cargo liners! What is wrong with these people? Somalian pirates *must* have a screw loose...and a big one at that! I think they've been let go to get away with this for far too long or something. Now, not only are they wreaking havoc among the European shipping circles, they are now barking up the tree of the USA! Well, we came in bigger boats with even bigger guns and all the skills needed to handle the situation! Even still, they just aren't accepting that there will be an end put to all this, if they continue. I just read an article on Charter.com that said they have just hijacked 4 more ships in retaliation of their fallen colleagues in the Gulf of Aden. Oh boy...here we go again. Certainly these are definitely not the kind of people to be modeling your family values from.

I think this would make a great bit called 'Really' on SNL's Weekend Update. It might go a little something like this: "Really pirates? Really? You didn't learn the first time we shot 3 of your colleagues in the head on the first shot from a good distance atop a moving surface through a glass about *this* big simultaneously? Really?? And really, now we have to come back and do it all over again? Really??? Really, do you think we will actually turn our backs on this? Really, Really??"