I am tired of being fat.
I have been getting progressively larger since I was around 10 years old. In the past few years, my weight has been holding steady and I don't seem to be gaining really...until lately. There is a certain point where I am used to the weight I have, I can get most things done without exerting myself and really noticing the weight being a problem per se. Obviously I am not as healthy and attractive as I wish I would be or even as much as I know I can be. Lately, my weight has began to go up again. Maybe age and hormonal reasons, bad habits getting worse....I know the reasons why I've always abused food and eating. I've dealt with those issues. It seems as though, at this point, I have such horrible habits and practices that I can't seem to break the cycles long enough to make important necessary healthy changes to my routine and eating schedule and habits. Lately, even routine tasks are labored. I won't even begin to tell you about the nightmare I endured Friday night with my computer because of my excessive weight.
Oddly enough, I love exercising! I love the foods you have to eat to get healthy! I don't think I have ever met a green food I didn't really like and I would eat salmon 5 days a week, if I could! There in lies part of my issues. Currently (remember, I'm looking for a new job too) I can't afford food in my budget. I eat what I can, when my mom buys, when a friend cooks and invites me over, when someone else pays, whatever I already have bought in the house from prior bad food choices...you get the picture. Somehow, even though I don't have money for food, I eat in one way or another every day. But to just go to the store and purchase the best foods for me to eat is just a dream for now. I hate this!!!
I'd even be open to trying some kind of hoodia or really, I'd love to join one of those weight loss centers and get proportioned food from them. Right now, that's impossible!
So for now, my plan is to eat smaller portions, picking the healthiest possible choices when I can and adding exercise into my daily life. Especially now that the weather is getting nicer! That is something I can control. I should totally make 'cleaning' into a form of exercise and kill 2 birds with 1 stone!!!